Midnight Musings
by KaleA24
Summary: Hey Guys this is the same story as before with some minor changes. The thought life of a pensive Quarian This is my first fanfic. Please review! thanks!


Tali stares blankly at the void that is visible through the skylight in Shepard's ceiling. Her visor gives the flashing lights of passing stars a slight purple hue. She was so frustrated with herself for not finishing her research yet. If she were to be honest part of the reason that it's not already done is that she couldn't convince herself that Shepard's confession was real. It still seemed so much like a dream. She finally believed him after he helped her with her trial and managed to keep her from being exiled while helping her preserve her father's memory.

_As the outer door to the ship opens Tali is overwhelmed by a sense of dread. She tries to keep herself optimistic. "He could still be alive," she tells herself. The logical side of her knows what has happened here but her sentimental side won't let her admit it just yet. Moving stealthily throughout the ship she gathers increasingly damning evidence. _

_Shortly after finding the first pieces of evidence a Geth is spotted. Survival mode kicking in she pulls out her gun, the familiar weight becoming a seamless extension of her arm. Surveying the room she realizes that they managed to sneak up on the Geth. Under normal circumstances Tali would instinctively wait for Shepard to fire the first shots in battle but this is her territory and without any prior arrangement she can feel Shepard yielding to her leadership. She processes all this in a fraction of a second. Taking aim at the back of the first Geth's head all thoughts of her companions, other than their position, leave her mind. She pulls the trigger and transforms into Tali Zhora vas Normandy. She fully embraced this more violent side of her nature when she first joined Shepard's team after he saved her from those thugs in the alley. Before then she did what she had to in order survive. Now it's not that she completely enjoys the violence but if she were to be honest she feels like a warrior queen who is unstoppable. Beware those who stand in her way or threaten her friends. _

_Deploying her battle drone and she can almost feel it draining the Geth of its energy. Focusing on the remaining Geth, she shoots one while looking for her next target. Meanwhile, another part of her brain is telling her drone where to go next or summoning a new one when the first has been destroyed. She is so caught up in the blood lust that it is only when she senses Shepard relax to her right that she realizes that the battle is over. _

_Leaving the recent battleground they continue to search for evidence. What they find should have helped her to feel acquitted but as they discover each new piece her heart fills with dread. She can't find a way to use the evidence that they find to help her without tarnishing her father's memory. Catching herself she chastises, "He could still be alive." He had to be. He made a promise. Keelah! She had to" get a grip" as Joker would say. Opening the next door and Tali's brief attempt to make herself is shattered. _

"_FATHER!" she screams._

_ There is no denying it any longer. Refusing to believe her senses she throws herself on her father's body. She quickly searches for some indication that he has just deceived them. Failing to find that she searches for a message; unaware that she has been vocalizing her actions the whole time. Her father's message pops up and then there is no more denying the truth. He caused this. "My Father endangered the entire fleet for some stupid promise." In the back of her mind she knows that it was more his misguided scientific, ambition. However, she is too emotional for logic.  
_

_ Consumed in her grief, Tali is unaware of the others until Shepard pulls her into his arms. Within the warmth of his embrace she is finally able to release the tears that have been building since they boarded the Alarei. She allows herself to be lost in the comfort briefly before burying her grief until a more convenient time._

_ Heading back to the "courtroom" and Shepard promises to conceal her father's guilty from the Admiralty. She has accepted exile to be the inevitable outcome. A comforting numbness spreads throughout her body as she walks back into the courtroom to face judgment. Hearing that the trial has reconvened in their absence, she can only rouse herself to hurl sarcasm at them before retreating within herself and awaiting the verdict. Her reverie is interrupted by Shepard's impassioned account of her incorruptibility. She listens in shock as the admirals declare that she is innocent. _

Remembering how flustered she was after the trial, Tali grins. She had prepared herself for harsh judgment not leniency. Her babbling on about something afterwards demonstrated just how far behind her brain was from current events. It didn't hit her until they reached the _Normandy_. Her carefully constructed composure collapsed and nothing could stop the sobs that escaped her. Not even when she wanted them to because right as her resolve broke Shepherd walked in.

He caught her as she feel to the floor, overcome with her grief for her father and the unexpected relief of not being rejected by her people. He picked her up and carried her to his quarters. She tried to tell him that she hadn't completed her research and was shocked when he actually understood what she was trying to communicate. He laid her down on the bed and held her while stroking the back of her veil, telling her that he wasn't trying to rush her he just wanted her to know that she was safe and loved, and that he was there to share her grief. She understood then that she had never been and never be alone. He had just fallen asleep with his arms still around her, but Tali's heart was too bruised and yet too full for sleep. She loved him and after tonight she knew without a doubt that he loved her. Tali started to giggle softly. She now had the concrete evidence that she needed to complete her research.

Carefully extracting herself from his arms, Tali let herself out of Shepard's room and headed towards the med bay to start her research.


End file.
